I used to be a fanatic video game (VG) player in my youth. Evenings and weekends sacrificed on Mario’s Catholic alter to crusade in the liberation of the Mushroom Kingdom against Koopa insurgents. If you could jump on heads of Al Qaeda for coins this war would finance itself. Actually, that’s what Bush said it would do — did he base his war plan on a vid-yah gaim? (how the Prez spells it)

Since getting into tabletop RPGs I’ve spent much more time on them since they’re creative and unbounded (or should be, damn railroaders) Hadn’t planned on what to do with my stimulus check (besides a 1-way ticket to Amsterdam), but now the old addiction is call’in me to it’s multi-colored and animated flat plasma tit. I’ve played games since but not many:

• 007 Golden Eye and Perfect Dark for N64, these shooters quenched the insatiable bloodlust deep in my soul, which I should see a shrink about. The latter hasn’t left my console in seven years and is still played occasionally (when the darkness wells up).
• Starcraft and the Star Trek Armadas let me conquer vast reaches, whetting my taste for the dominion of minds that you now enter. (… and it is futile to resist)
• Star Wars Galaxies was my foray into MMORPGs. Interesting at first, but the repetition can wear on a soul. Fighting, harvesting, selling, shopping for different ensembles to wear to the club, hating the government – isn’t this supposed to be an escape from real life?

Mario has come a helluva long way, as have VGs altogether. From acid-induced worlds of powerful plumbers to the ultra real streets of San Andreas (really a less gay San Fran, haven’t been there so I’ll assume it’s just like the game — and never go). CJ’s quest for cash, ass, and revenge (what else for the first black VG protagonist) was the last game I completed, and now GTA 4 is out — a Russian star fits American stereotypes, so it‘s all good.

Already folks are whining about the game’s “message” . Bullshit! It’s for adults (and adult aged adolescents like me) so if your kid is prone to flip out and kill people (ninja style), get’em Perfect Dark — look how I turned out.

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