The Internet was created by Al Gore, the great techno-democrat lord whose enemies even bow to honor him, to share learning across great distances quickly. Since getting fully online, I’ve used it for just that: offering my wisdom to friends and my sagely gaming insights to fellow GM’s seeking aid. Most times my beneficence is repaid with gratitude, as it should be for any FREE service. A few times though I’m reminded that this vast network is home to many arrogant OTAKU ASSHOLES!

With just an avatar and a login name, ordinary people gain the mask of a concealing persona to let their inner evil emanate into the virtual world. I’ve witnessed and been party too more than a few flame wars in my time. I read through them to harvest any witty lines I may want to use in real life, cause unlike Neo I’m a bad ass outside of the Matrix: six foot one and muscularly barrel-chested, ladies may leave you’re contact info on the forums (personal pics MANDATORY).

Wit is never there for the poaching however. 90% of the time the cause of the conflict is over subjects too stupid to waste breath on. The old maxim holds true: “Arguing on the Internet is like racing in the Special Olympics; even if you win, you’re still retarded.” From this, many want to carry their malice from the virtual to actual — like this DUMBASS. Conversely, other sick fucks choose real life targets to cowardly attack on the net — like this cruel old BITCH. I hope she enjoys the connections to be made in a Federal prison, and forcibly uploads many fists into her raggedly wrinkled router.

Education, entertainment, recreational escapism, intimate video clips of beautiful woman (OVER 18!) that you don’t have the time – money – or charm to meet in real life: THIS is what Big Al had in mind. Not this cheap ass character assassination.

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