I met with Tech Henchman Hunin, the Webmaster of the Dominion and funny-looking guy in the forums, yesterday. He’s reading my recent articles and giving his impressions, since comments are still on the low side and I require CONSTANT adoration. While reading, he starts going, “What?” “WHAT?!?” “NO WAY!” I’m thinking some insight of mine has wowed him, it’s not uncommon for me. He turns to me like I told him the Easter Bunny was dead, “You LIKED the new Indiana Jones?!” I affirm, and asked his opinion.

“It was MULE DICK.”I personally find that animal organ impressive, if not desirable, but Hunin appeared to be using it negatively.Essentially, like many other dissatisfied moviegoers you’ve read on the Internet – whom have been caressing their nipples to lactation for the past 19 years in anticipation of this, it didn’t meet his expectations. Actually, it supposedly did. He expected a bad flick and got one, yet there was venom to his critique suggesting that he failed to really lower them. In the ensuing debate I was labeled delusional for being able to follow the plot. “It was 80 times worse than Temple of Doom.” By the end, only his excellent maintenance of this site … stayed my wrathful hand. (I revised this last description 18 times before calming down from the initial Di99 SMAAA$H!1!1

Self-Spoiling Psychosis (SSP) is when our own beliefs about something ruin the perception of its actuality — leading cause of movie dissatisfaction and divorce. It’s not a proper medical term, and likely can be better described, but it’s the title so I’ve got to mention it — fuck you I‘m not changing the title. I went to go see an Indiana Jones movie and that’s what I got. I didn’t expect to see Raiders of the Lost Ark — which I loved as a six year old — or a coming of age drama about a young lesbian in Belfast, Ireland set during the 60’s.I got a finale to the series that tied in elements of the original and delivered style, characterization, pacing, and action in line with that of the 1981 groundbreaker and it‘s series of sequels. Blanchett’s villainess wasn’t very deep, like Beloq and the black-wearing Nazi torture guy in glasses were so multi-faceted. Falling out of an airplane in an inflatable raft, sliding down a ragged mountain, and then falling off a cliff — damn that’s realistic! Monkey spies that seig heil Hitler, obscure historical fact. Spielberg and Lucas using a lot of CGI in an action movie, SHIT-WHATTA SHOCKER!“So Digg, you must’ve liked Phantom Menace, the Indy 4 of Star Wars?” HEEEEELLLS no! That movie was FAR more of a departure from what the saga established, I claim no SSP on that. I could elaborate, but we’ll cover it in the future. Suffice to say just getting this off my chest will better let me endure the sea of moaning adult babies I’d like to pacify with a fist … SM@$H!!11

Popularity: 1% [?]