New movies are out, new movies to be reviewed. Maybe you’ve seen them, maybe not. You need to know which are worth the price of GAS, putting a maybe unfair standard on recent flicks. Couldn‘t they lower the price of movies that don’t involve lots of vehicle chases? Right, why not have it rain Samuel Adams and snow ice cream (lactose-free) while we’re in this utopia?

Zohan was exactly what I was expecting from a couple of weeks ago. Israeli — not James Bond, but more like Spiderman — leaves the constant killing of the Mid-East community to come to American (say the C in that like you’re clearing phlegm) to become a wannabe Paul Mitchell. After finding his styles outdated from the eighties, the tactless honesty that only a foreigner would be excused of and other hilarious culture shock; he finds his groove, understanding of his former enemies and true love of … a PALESTINIAN.

The usual Sandler cast was pesent, even … him.  Educational: I didn’t know hackey sack was a Middle Eastern pastime — with bonus points for catching it in your ass crack? Outrageous: The Z’s idea of customer service is flirting with then super-heroically fucking the hell out of his over 60 land lady and clients. Besides Pam Grier, grandmothers are so ridiculous as gigolo-fare you’ve got to laugh to avoid puking. Moral: Jews and Arabs should get along cause white people cant tell y’all apart anyway.

To thwart evil developers, led by Vince McMahan, an ancient desert sonic attack is used to save the day. Very funny, with an unexpected political/social issue. Worth the gas, if you can get past the blatant Arabic/Semitic stereotyping and absolutely impossible Zohan fighting moves.

Super-fighting was a big boost of the latest Hulk over the last one. No dino-dogs and electric-Nolte, Tim Roth’s Blonsky evolves physically and obsessively to combat the green machine in a MAMMOTH beat down climax. I like that they gave Roth the room to develop. The fight progression was excellent with each battle getting harder and harder for the Hulk, with the Abomination nearly finishing old boy. His defeat — SPOILER: the Hulk doesn’t die in this one, SURPRISE! — also gives Banner a measure of the freedom he’s been seeking.

The first was based off the comic strongly, which I never read; but this version borrows from the Bill Bixby TV series — which most and I were glued to as a kids. Good choice by director Louis Leterrier (especially for a French dog?), also the Hulk itself was rendered less cartoony. Ed Norton I thought made a better Banner than Bana, like Bixby. Eric Bana doesn’t have the unassuming geeky-quality of Norton, which captures the poor doctor better. Liv Tyler, enough said. I did prefer Sam Elliot as General Ross, however. William Hurt was good, it’s just that we just saw him as the antagonist in Ironman. Plus, NO ONE does grizzled hard-ass like Elliot.

Hulk was worth the gas, jet fuel, or uranium rods in a nuclear sub’s reactor; whatever it takes to get to the theatre to see this superior sequel.

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