Not another message about the dangers of STD’s reminiscent of dozens of middle and high school “Keep it in Your Pants” presentations – but perhaps your school was less sluttish than mine. This article will assume we’re adults (beat it kids! … literally) and we know how to protect ourselves.

Prudishness is a defense against sexual obsession and indulgence, which I’m sure if unchecked would raise public morale but leave production ironically flaccid. Doing the new temp in the stairwell of the loading dock can be fun, but complicates professional relationships, sullies the cleanliness of professional attire (if you’re doing it right), and sidetracks co-workers with lurid rumor and gossip. Grey’s Anatomy via interactive play at your place of work can be as irresistible to many …women  … as Sandra Oh‘s face is repellant to many men … me.

On the other hand, you may get shot down. Although you aren’t a hater, many requests made of the co-worker may appear resentful. “I’ve got to tabulate all this data cause I didn’t want to upload him? Bastard! Better do it before I get laid off.” This is the root of sexual harassment by creation of a perceived hostile workspace. Women have enough burdens without co-workers drooling over them too, which also sullies professional appearance. Adult men should be able to control themselves, through sheer practice and mostly do. Although, some societies even censor the distraction on the way to work:

Chilean See Ass

We’ve got women dressed less than that on US streets, and their lap dances are a lot more … engaging. Can’t Chilean strippers practice their intricate art in whatever spaces are available to them? Do they need that armored truck to haul her off? I thought the Nazis fled to Argentina.

Luckily, society has created marriage to harness and domesticate the sex drive, turning the wild wolf into a neutered cockapoo. If the threat of divorce can control appetite, it can or will magnify the desire as well. Even if a spouse cheats, it’s still less sex than if everyone was single. Most – men – safely regress to the adolescent relief of their past, resulting in this:

The Lovemobile

If his car were full of Fabio-covered “romance” novels would it be suck an issue? Besides wrist strain and personal dehydration, what’s the worst he can do? Panties hung on display in a mall store window are ok, but not in dude’s car? I thought the Nazis fled to Argentina. Leopard skin seat covers: that’s the true crime. Put him under the jail for those.

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