Last night I’m yanking out chest hairs with a pair of tweezers to stay up (see last Decree) long enough to see the debate. The hairless patch is shaped like two overlapping capital D’s, like Daredevil’s symbol but mine could stand for Da Dominus! At the rate I grow body hair, it might as well be a tattoo – so consider it meaning “Devoted Digg”. I did it for you citizens and secret readers.

SPECIAL ANOUNCEMENT: Effective immediately – after the completion of this article – I will be suspending all jokes made at the expense of Republican Arizona Senator John Sidney “Damn those gooks” McCain III out of respect for the death of his presidential candidacy, and perhaps political career. Really at this point piling on McCain is like beating a dead elephant, but I draw the line at defleshing his bones for their precious ivory value. This is very tempting though since commodities are now worth more than their ounce weight in shares of Google stock, but the man was a vet damn it!!

For those of you that missed the debate for richer sources of entertainment, let me sum it up this way: Obama came off like Sidney Poitier in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, composed with reasonable humility, and McCain, with his attempts at humor andfolksy platitudes, came off like a cross examined Reverend Brady in Inherit the Wind. I guess Tom Brokaw was Spencer Tracy in either film, though Obama didn’t fuck his daughter – at least during the debate.

I don’t know why the senior citizen senator wanted a town hall format. Was he counting on Barack being unable to field basic questions, like a governor or something, or did he want the sympathy points of being seen stiffly limping around the stage swinging wild rhetorical haymakers as his oppoenent calmly and measuredly kicked his cane out from under him? All while he spoke the junior senator sat there with a look on his face of mixed patience and admiration like you’d watch grandpa steadying himself to cut the Thanksgiving turkey. The elder Republican’s points received from the audience the reception one would expect of mangled chunks of breast meat.

To be fair, both candidates did some evasions and convenient attacks. I refer you to Fox News for Obama’s closet-terrorist egg headed faux passes (I ain’t French) and to MSNBC for McCain’s crotchety jingoism. I’m no journalist – real writer nor comedian for that matter – form your own opinions. I, myself and on behalf of those citizens whom have surrendered their will to me, believe it’s effectively curtains for everyone’s former favorite lone wolf Republican badass. Then again, this could be the Barack O’Bradley effect in action – or so the pundits muse to keep us interested.

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