Inclement weather has prevented us from posting a new Dominion Cast for this week. Rib’s mics have frozen up and a glacier is blocking her neighborhood. My car is in bad need of winterizing: I can’t find enough dogs to lash to the bumper. People keep trying to stuff Hunin with hypothermic Jedi.

For those of you that live in the lush tropical paradise that is anywhere with a double-digit positive temperature and wish to venture out to the movies for the weekend, we have some suggestions based on your viewing needs and the new releases. These are merely suggestions based on the previews; if they suck, don’t worry about getting a “We TOLD you so” from da Dominion.

Need to drop off the kids somewhere so you can peacefully fuck the wife? Hotel for Dogs looks like a good choice. A bunch of kids can no longer keep their dog so they find an abandoned hotel for him and a kennel of lucky strays. Humor turns to tragedy when they contract rabies from the “bad boy” of the pack, Vick. Looks exceedingly cute so don’t be surprised if the rug rats start crying for a puppy, or a dozen, when you pick’em up. Speaking of cute, what the fuck is Kyla Pratt doing still playing a teenager? She’s been legitimately bone-able for 4 years now, and dresses like she’s down for the dick’in.

Want to see a flick with a group but can‘t reach a consensus? Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Adam Sandler produced, Kevin “King of Queens” James does his best fat man shtick in mockery of the most physically fit branch of private security. I’ve chuckled a bit at the trailer, which leads me to dread it contains the best gags of the movie. Zohan’s trailer was like this but had a saving abundance of ethnic and old-lady-banging humor that was a nice surprise. This doesn’t seem to be a feature of Blart. Bet he battles being out of breath during a contrived crisis to rescue a chick way to hot for him but his knowledge of the mall, his home turf, wins Blart glory. It’s not a spoiler if it’s merely hypercritical speculation, regardless of its probable accuracy.

A biopic of the life of Tupac Shakur would be intriguing. Too bad there isn’t one. You can watch Notorious though. I … am … NOT … hate’in. The movie looks like a nice memorial to Biggie but seems to lack the pathos behind the art you get in other dramas like The Doors and Walk the Line. Sadly, he wasn’t around long enough to get corrupted. He got noticed, married Faith, released Ready to Die, was hated on by Pac, got in a car accident ands was recording his second album when he got killed. Really is a waste, but my ire is drawn from the saturation marketing going on in my area. “Must See Movie of 2009!!!” without a quote reference cause “they” don’t read. Nothing about it is grabbing and I loved his music. My MP3 player hosts a better tribute.

Hankering for a poignant action drama based on a true story set in the Third Reich that isn’t Valkyrie? Defiance. Every problem that the conspiracy movie made this story of proud rebellion looks to avoid. Highly placed German officers trying to kill Adolf because of the harm he’s doing to Germany is not as moving as Jews escaping certain death to fight for their survival against the greatest evil of recent history. Get this, star Daniel Craig is using am accent to portray his character. Amazing!

No more jokes here, I may chance the tundra to see this and review it Monday. If my sled dogs freeze up before the first marker … I guess I’ll see you in HELL!

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