A new show on TV attempts to cast Resurrection on the fantasy genre for TV – with the ten thousand gold pieces spent towards special effects.

NBC’s Merlin, the most queerly promoted show since … Queer as Folk, may look like the story of a junior wizard ready to swing staff and part robes to service his handsome young king, but it is actually much less edgey than that. It’s several successful features woven into one to try to grab the teen/young adult audience.

Monster of the week is an apparent theme in Merlin, one common to Hercules, Xena and Young Hercules, but these aren’t the components of the new show.

A youth gifted with magic must learn the price of such power while avoiding discovery of his special abilities while becoming a man in an anachronistic medieval kingdom. To put it more elementary, this is Smallville with Harry Potter-style magic set in A Knight’s Tale. I’d expect this from the CW, but from the same network that gave us Lipstick Jungle (Desperate Sex in the City Wives)?

I’m shocked … but not really.

Merlin saves the day – everyday – with his secret magic to help fulfill the destiny of Arthur, portrayed as an arrogant Prince with traces of nice guy but piles of pretty boy. Wizkid doesn’t know his abilities except through instinct. This means whatever spell is needed he’ll blurt out conveniently, or fail at to build tension. The future Once and Future King in ignorance treats him as little better than a nerdy sidekick servant (the show is named after Merlin … duh) while reaping the glory.

Why would he rescue such a spoiled assshole? Destiny: the last refuge of uninspired writing. It’s held up as the reason for everything to end happily, lest the knaves violate Arthurian legend. Arthur can’t die. Merlin has his back. King Uther is a bastard. Morganna is a teasing goth bitch. Yet, pissing on canon is exact what they do all over the place like … an unhousebroken griffin (see vidoe above). 

Merlin is young. Morganna isn’t Arthur’s sister (so they can screw in season 3). There’s monsters all over the fuckin’ place but little England uniting. Gwenevere is a handmaiden that crushes on Merlin, thinking correctly that Arthur is a douche. Also, she’s of some ethnicity definately not English. New Zealand native? Latina? Obaman: Black and miscellaneous? It’s nice to see diversity on TV, but in a period piece. Will the Black Knight have dredlocks? When will we see ninjas? Maybe in Season 2?

Nah. There won’t be one.

Dawson’s Creek lasted six seasons. No need to watch a seventh just because it’s dressed in chainmail and fights dragons … with magic … from the closet.  

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